How To Get Our Gandhi On: A Million Buddha’s Blazing!

Mao Zedong declared the founding of the modern People’s Republic of China,
October 1, 1949

A Million Buddhas


Once upon a time, in a faraway land called China, there was a politician named Mao. Now, this wasn’t just any ordinary dude, he was the leader of a band of ruthless thugs, who claimed to speak for the majority of the folks in that part of the world. In fact, they resemble North America’s current crop of “leaders”, in many ways. They, and of course, their lesser minions in what used to be called

“Great Britain”.

Mao was of the considered opinion, he knew best for his folks, and would stop at nothing to gain power, and maintain power. Again, ’cause he knew what’s best for the rest of his countrymen, indeed, for the world. Once more, its kinda hard to tell, am I talking about China, just after WWII, or AmeriKa, now?

So Mao was cruisin’ along his merry way, killing everyone who disagreed with him (do I have to say it…. “kinda like the U.S. does today”, or “kinda like the effing Taliban and their ilk, today”). One of his trusted advisers came to him trembling, fearing the news he had to bear would cause his own demise.

The Great Leader did not like to be told he was in error, or that he was not in fact, smarter than all the rest. He and his boys killed around 50 million Chinese, you see. Ok, what is it, he asked? The minion replied, “oh great leader, there is a dude named Bapu just over the border raising all kinds of hell, talking about kicking the Brits out of India…”

So, the Great Leader said, wtf is that to me? What are you wasting mytime with this shit for?

Parvati Offers Bhang to Shiva

Well, the dude said, its just that his folks appear to be on to something, with their tactics… what would happen if they actually kick the Brits out, maybe his ideas would infect our populace….. he trailed off, scared shitless at this point.

“IDEAS, god damn it, IDEAS? You interrupt my afternoon pleasure because some skinny little lawyer in India is using WORDS & WILLPOWER as “weapons”?

“We have words, break out your little red book, fool; we have ideas galore”, Mao screamed! Exasperated, Mao was just about to shoot the messenger himself, when it occurred to him he might be missing something in the translation, as it were. After all, kicking the Brits out of India was a good  thing, wtf could have this dude so scared he can’t even talk? Putting on his phony politician face for a minute, he coaxed the messenger into telling him the meat of the story. “Sup, fool, spit it out, before I effing kill you, what is the size of his army, what are their ultimate goals, and what are their tactics”.

That’s just it, o great one, they don’t have any weapons, they are just a bunch of determined powerless poor people who have had enough of the Brits and their effing Empire. They are using a tactic called Ahimsa. They are marching on the Brits, over salt. Salt!

The Great Leader stared at him for a minute, cleared the room of the nubile slaves, called the dude over real close, and laughed his ass off. “Fool, this is nothing to fear, and I ain’t gonna kill you (today any way), if there was a god, I would pray to Him right now and ask for a Million Gandhi’s”.

You see, Mao believed force would always trump “the people’s will”, any people’s will, all you had to do is just kill a few and the rest would fall in line. Killing another million was not a big deal, after all, the fools did not even have any guns.

History shows Gandhi was right, and Mao was a punk, a bully with no morals or conscience. What, you say, they killed Bapu, didn’t they? Yep, they did, a fellow Hindu offed him over some Religious Bullshit. The effing Brits killed a bunch of his folks as well. But the punk ass Brits left India

Now, when I told this story to a young internet millionaire recently, he shook his head and mumbled something about Ahimsa wouldn’t work here, for the Herb Folks

…. “remember what happenened at Tienamen Square, fool”. Yeah, but that was before the interwebs connected all Her Folks, across borders, across time, heart to heart, person to person.

Her(b) Folks, lets get our Gandhi on, shall we? We see his million Gandhi’s,

and raise him a million Buddha’s. Its on!